Dear people saying I don't deserve scholarships because I'm not poor,
I worked, took four AP classes out of the six my school offered and multiple honors courses, and studied hard to earn my 4.0 grade point.
Sincerely, my parents can't afford to put two kids through college and I'm trying to help out.
Dear US Public Schools,
Please don't be surprised that the obesity rate in the US is growing when you give my child six hours of homework a night and make me pay $500 just for them to participate in a sport.
Sincerely, parents everywhere.
Dear English teacher,
The tree is not a sign of how depressed the main character is.
Sincerely, It's just a freaking tree...
Dear Mom and Dad,
I flunked out of college in 4 weeks, I'm pregnant, am getting married in a few days, and I'm moving out of state.
Sincerely, just kidding, but I did get a ticket for speeding.
Dear unfortunate children of the 21st century,
We had nine planets and good tv.
Sincerely, children of the 90's.
Dear mouthwash that claims to "keep your breath fresh for 12 hours",
Challenge accepted.
Sincerely, garlic bread, onion dip...
Dear Capri Sun,
Two words, jumbo pouches.
Sincerely, that is all.
Dear science teacher,
Wake me up when it's time to board the magic school bus.
Sincerely, I wish you were Mrs. Frizzle.
Dear "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader",
WE NEVER LEARNED THAT IN FIFTH GRADE!
Sincerely, it's not fair.
Dear Dexter,
You're the only reason I know how to spell Laboratory.
Sincerely, La- BOR- atory!
Dear "you have one day left to finish the assignment",
A day on Mercury is 1,392 hours.
Sincerely, you should have been more specific.
Dear people with big purses going into the movie theater,
I know you have food in there, I'm just too lazy to care
Sincerely, theater usher.
Dear 8 year old listening to LMFAO,
Wait a second...
Sincerely, teenager listening to the Mulan soundtrack.
Yea, I've got a pretty great life.
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